


Kiss, Marry, Kill

by sparkly_seagull



Series: Jangobi Week (2021) [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker has hobbies, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, M/M, Minor Anidala, Planet Geonosis (Star Wars), cameo by the Death Star Plans, forced to work together, murder of the resident bug people, some barely concealed marriage kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_seagull/pseuds/sparkly_seagull
Summary: Day 4: Forced to Work TogetherHe ended up chasing through the Geonosian Droid factory after his unruly padawan and the senator they needed to keep alive, details about a planet destroying station stashed into his boot. Unfortunately, Jango Fett had found them as well, and all Obi-Wan has left to do is stall.
Relationships: Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Jangobi Week (2021) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137158
Comments: 38
Kudos: 347





	Kiss, Marry, Kill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianaDeralte/gifts).



> this is a gift as well as a way to pin blame for the inspiration :)

“You really didn’t have to use Dooku’s Sith name when telling me about your contractor.” Obi-Wan bit out at the stoic Mandalorian. The pieces had clicked together when he’d watched Dooku draw out a sith red blade while simultaneously roiling in his dark and rather greasy force signature. Obi-Wan hadn’t gotten close, but the facts had presented themselves nicely, all lining up in a neat little row, and now he was mildly peeved Fett had tried to deceive him in such a majorly minor way.

His complaint got no immediate quip in return, stumping him slightly. Apparently Fett didn’t wish to play the flirtatious game Obi-Wan played with all of the other opponents he faced. 

Obi-wan stood lightsaber ablaze in front of his foolhardy Padawan and the Senator he’d co-opted into their ill advised excursion into the Geonosian droid factory. It hadn’t been hard to find them as he’d snuck around the dank and dusty assembly lines, they caused quite a scene. Unfortunately, he’d only be close enough to step in when they had gotten discovered and simultaneously held at gunpoint by Fett.

Fett for his part made no move, his body as still as a statue and blasters raised in hands that were unnervingly steady. Obi-Wan cleared his throat, but the cough seemed unnecessarily disappointed. “It was rather rude. I was under the impression there was another mystery Sith whose identity I had no lead on.”

It wasn’t like it would have mattered all that much anyway. He personally knew next to nothing about his allusive and rather aloof grand Master. The man was a mystery wrapped up in legend and old money. Oh, and a fancy new cloak with an accompanying lightsaber that screamed of his true affiliations in a bright and bloody red.

Anakin inched closer to him, possibly angling himself better to use Obi-Wan as a human shield, or possibly just because he had something to say. Senator Amidala followed his lead tentatively. They both had managed to lose their weapons and the droids Obi-Wan had seen come in after them. It was inconvenient, but the thing he had the most concern for was the highly sensitive data chip sitting in his boot.

“Fett,” He called, still having gotten no response. “I’m sure you’ve got some choice words, care to share them?”

“Master!” Anakin hissed. “What are you doing?”

“Oh nothing really, just making small talk.” He locked eyes with his padawan and raised a singular eyebrow. “Now where did your lightsaber go?”

Anakin’s face turned ashen and his eyes darted away from Obi-Wan’s. That’s what he thought. The boy could not keep track of his lightsaber if it was the only thing protecting him and a highly important politician from angry Geonosians and a highly trained Mandalorian bounty hunter. The force really had a sense of humor and it was going to get them all killed.

“Say that again.” Fett demanded, although it came out more as a growl. Obi-Wan fought back a shiver at his voice. Now was definitely not the right time to indulge the warm feeling that crept into his gut at the sound.

“You wish for me to question the location of my Padawan’s weapon a second time?”

He got another growl in response. Fett really had to stop, it was distracting. “No, say that name.”

“Dooku? Or I guess as you know him, Tyranus, emergent Sith Lord?” Obi-Wan huffed at the title. Did Dooku really have to go and make more problems for himself after his first few scandals round? The man didn’t learn, not that Obi-Wan would know, but it seemed Fett might’ve.

“Dooku?” Fett spat out disgustedly. The name sounded like a slur coming from him.

“Dooku.” Obi-Wan confirmed, unsure as to how long this name game would continue on for. He was all for talking to distract the enemy, flirting was always a good strategy. But with Fett? The Mandalorian wasn’t putting in effort, and if he was it was probably to distract Obi-Wan and to give his reinforcements more time to arrive. That could not happen. Obi-Wan needed at the very least for the Senator, Anakin, and the high security information stowed away in his boot to make it out alive. His own survival was very quickly becoming a last priority.

Fett spun on his heel, and in two clear shots that Obi-Wan never saw coming, the droidikas at his side dropped into steaming piles of scrap. Another few shots later, before anyone had time to even begin to react, the bodies of two Geonoisans and another few droids fell to the ground with echoing clangs.

“Unfortunately,” It sounded like Fett was speaking through clenched teeth as he revealed a devastating truth. “It would seem we are on the same side now.”

“And why would you work with us?”

“I’ve been looking to kill Dooku for twenty years now.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. That seemed like a valid enough reason, though he wondered what Dooku could have possibly done to get himself on Jango Fett’s bad side for so long. “Arm us, and I’ll believe you.” They needed a little assurance it wasn’t some convoluted trick.

Within an instant Obi-Wan had a vibroblade and a blaster kicked to his feet. He winced as the blade came too close to his boot. It was the wrong boot, but the threat of any damage to the plans he thought he’d uncovered was a threat to the galaxy as a whole.

“Many thanks. Well friend, I see we are on the same page.”

Fett stepped forward, his weapons re-sheathed, but posture just as threatening. He looked ready to pounce, nothing like the calm demeanor he’d been sporting on Kamino for the short while the conversation had actually been peaceful. “We kill Dooku, now.”

“Can we even do that?” Anakin asked, sounding a little too excited to be concerned with the Jedi way. Obi-Wan could ignore it for now, hopefully someone else would bring it up when Anakin finally got back to the Council with Obi-Wan’s shoe and news of his death.

“In the technical sense? Yes, it is possible, however,” He handed the vibroblade to Anakin and the blaster to Senator Amidala. She seemed to have some proficiency with a gun, besides Anakin would only get a tiny blade to replace his big one. “I will not be dealing any killing blows.”

“What,” Anakin might’ve been referring in confusion to his new weapon or the news Obi-Wan had just given him, but Obi-Wan could not tell.

He tilted his head towards the Mandalorian staring them all down. “That lovely opportunity falls to Jango here.” Fett seemed to appreciate the gesture, if his no notable increase in defensive posture was anything for Obi-Wan to go by. It probably wasn’t.

  
  
  


They made it to Dooku and his posse of bug-like bodyguards easily. Fett was quick with a gun as was Senator Amidala. Anakin stuck close to her, switching between watching her with rapt attention and adoring eyes or staring down Fett warily. Obi-Wan for his part worked as a moving shield for the entire group, sighing as another Geonosian thought it best to come within swinging range of his lightsaber.

As they crept through tunnels, approaching where Obi-Wan could taste the simmering anger that turned the force sticky with darkness, he was reminded of the other Sith he’d faced who had also had such a claustrophobic force signature. Suddenly, an arm wrapped itself around his chest, pulling him back as a flamethrower was aimed and ignited at Geonosian. Obi-Wan hadn’t seen the warrior standing but a step away from him, bladed hand stretching out, neither had he seen Jango’s reaction, only feeling the hardness of the beskar plating hitting his back. The heat of the flames and the brightness died down almost as soon as they had been brought into existence. Obi-Wan blinked spots from the sudden light out of his eyes.

Obi-Wan let out a low whistle. “Well marry me I guess.” His eyes widened suddenly as Anakin made a choking noise. “Wait- wrong turn of phrase!” He was glad it was still mostly dark in the tunnel, so Fett couldn’t see the blush ferociously rising up his neck and face. He winced, remembering that he was still being held against Fett’s chest as well as the fact Mandalorian helmets had many useful features, such as night vision.

“That was impressive … thank you?” He offered. Senator Amidala clapped a hand over Anakin’s mouth, silencing whatever remark he was about to make. She had truly saved him, Anakin was bound to have said something mortifing, more so than what Obi-Wan had already done.

Fett cleared his throat. “Let’s keep moving.” He left no room for debate. Fett began to walk, but made no move to take his arm off of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan for his part didn’t try to leave the Mandalorian’s grip, sure it was some sort of consolation hug. It was still rather embarrassing, but it was better than acknowledging the frantic poking Anakin was doing at their training bond, practically trying to fling himself into Obi-Wan’s mind.

The insistent knocking against his mental shields was loud, leaving Obi-Wan with no choice but to answer Anakin or forewarn Dooku of their arrival with his padawan’s screeching into the force.

_ ‘Master!’  _ He shouted, so loud Obi-Wan was sure he’d screamed it directly into his ear.

_ ‘Yes?’ _

_ ‘You got engaged to a Mandalorian!’ _

_ ‘First of all calm down, secondly it was just a slip of the tongue, no need to torture me with it at the moment. Wait til we’re off this planet at the very least.’ _

Anakin buzzed with nervous energy.  _ ‘No, you’re getting married. He didn’t deny your proposal, you’re getting married to a Mandalorian, and this is so against the code. Married to a Mandalorian! Everyone knows not to propos-’ _

_ ‘Anakin … is there something I don’t know about that I should?’  _ He was getting worried, they were approaching Dooku who had intent to kill them, and Anakin was implying he was in a bonafide engagement. 

_ ‘I- would start making wedding plans if I was you. What will you do about the code? Don’t worry, I won’t tell them.’ _

Obi-Wan fought a heavy sigh.  _ ‘The code doesn’t forbid relationships, besides I don’t think I’ll be going through with this union. Besides, how do you know this?’ _

Unbidden, images flashed through Anakin’s mind and subsequently his own. It seemed that his padawan’s not so secret obsession with regency era romance novels and the new additions to the collection stashed into his suitcase as a gift from Padme included books with a Mandalorian love interest. Obi-Wan wondered how much of Anakin’s new found knowledge was actually true.

‘Wait … the code doesn’t forbid relationships?’

‘Aren’t you in one with Senator Amidala?’

He got no response other than an intense rush of relief and a simultaneous fear of being discovered flooding their bond before Anakin slammed his mental shields down. That seemed to be that end of that, but it wasn’t as worrisome as the alcove above Dooku and his large strategics room. It was the planning room Obi-Wan had stolen the data chip from, and it seemed Dooku had noticed its absence based on the way he searched in vain, angry words being directed at a Geonosian decked out in metals denoting a high ranking.

“WHERE DID YOU PUT IT?” Dooku roared, red saber lit up and pointed at the Geonosian’s throat.

They started to answer him in their clicking language, but never got the chance to finish whatever protest of innocence they were trying to make known, for a blaster bolt from Jango struck them through the head. Obi-Wan watched as the body fell and Dooku jumped in surprise. They had only a few seconds before he recovered and found the source of the shot.

Jango leaned close to Obi-Wan, whispering through his helmet’s voice modulator and into his ear. “You start thinking about ceremony preparations. I’ll be back in a second.”

Obi-Wan stood in stunned silence, taking in the confirmation that yes, he was indeed getting married to the Mandalorian bounty hunter due to the fact he’d mistakenly proposed. His eyes were wide, but mostly unseeing as Jango jumped from the rocky ledge, launching himself into the air with his jetpack ignited.

Anakin shook his shoulder, shouting over the sound of blaster bolts raining down onto the indignant Dooku, evidently caught very off guard by the betrayal of Jango. “See! I told you that you were getting married!”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Obes hobbling around with the recipe for the death star stashed in his thigh high boots and lodged too close to his toes: this seems important
> 
> Headcanon for this fic: Proposing to a Mandalorian is practically like getting married itself, so Obi-Wan basically declared his intention to be with and fight beside Jango for the rest of his life. God, this is so cracky. I use the same five tropes over and over again and it is becoming a PROBLEM. The plot of this got away from me so quickly … oof  
> If confused about why Jango ain’t fond of dooku, might I point thou towardest [the battle of galidraan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Battle_of_Galidraan)? 
> 
> I have never read a regency era romance novel, but my sister swears by them and Ariana Deralte's [How a Romance Novel Saved the Galaxy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331213/chapters/66777073) lives rent free in my mind, so I’ll lovingly bestow another randomly selected character trait onto Anakin
> 
> minor dedication to [this post](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/forcearama/641134224849747968) as well


End file.
